Internet & Game Ventures
by MissCuriousBird
Summary: In which the KHR cast - mainly the Varia, actually - try out various social networks and games and get banned from them because, admittedly, they're not the most charming or nicest people around. Not to mention when the Varia are involved, you're bound to have some awkward, disturbing conversations and encounters online. Lots of swearing. Rated M just in case.
1. Facebook

******[Facebook]**

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'**Lussuria' **_uploaded a photo._

'**Umi', 'Fran' & 'Belphegor'** _liked this photo_.

**Fran** – Ah, I didn't know longhaired commander was into that sort of stuff

**Belphegor** – Shishishi, how amusing

**Squalo** – VOI! WHAT THE FUCK!

**Umi** – Haha! Oh my god! Cross-dressing Squalo! Bel, share this photo! GO!

'**Belphegor'**, **'Lussuria'** **& 'Fran'** _liked this comment._

'**Belphegor'** _shared this photo with the caption:_ Pathetic. Ushishishi~!

'**Umi', 'Lussuria' & 'Fran'** _liked this photo._

**Squalo** – I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!

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...

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'**Belphegor'** _sent_ **'Umi'** _a game request._

'**Umi'** _updated her status._

**Umi** – Bel, for the last time, I am NOT playing Farmville. Why are you even playing that game? And lord help you, I will kill you with a brick if you send me another Farmville request

'**Fran', 'Squalo' & 'Levi'** _liked this comment._

'**Belphegor'** _sent_ **'Umi', 'Fran', 'Squalo' & 'Levi'** _a game request._

'**Umi'** _received 35 requests from_ **'Belphegor'**.

'**Squalo'** _received 30 requests from_ **'Belphegor'**.

'**Fran'** _received 45 requests from_ **'Belphegor'**.

'**Levi'** _received 50 requests from_ **'Belphegor'**.

**Fran** – Ah, is it time for Umi-sempai to kill the fallen prince with a brick yet?

'**Umi'** _liked this comment._

**Umi** – Forget the brick. This calls for spamming of the highest order.

'**Belphegor'** _received 80 requests._

'**Belphegor'** _has 30 notifications._

'**Belphegor'** _updated his status._

**Belphegor** – Sleep with your eyes open tonight, commoner. I'll be paying a visit to your room.

**Umi** – …But I'm sleeping over at Tsuna's house tonight, unless you plan on raping him and the kids there too, you fucking sick disturbed bastard.

'**Fran', 'Squalo', 'Levi' & 'Lussuria'** _liked this comment._

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...

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'**Umi'** _works at_ 'The Avengers'

_Studied at_ 'Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'

.

'**Squalo'** _posted on _**'Umi'**_s wall._

**Squalo** – VOI! WHO THE FUCK IS THE AVENGERS AND WHY ARE YOU WORKING FOR THEM, YOU LITTLE SHIT? AND WHAT KIND OF FUCKING SCHOOL IS THAT?

**Umi** – Oh my god. What's with the questions? What are you, a jealous girlfriend? GET OFF MY BACK WOMAN.

'**Belphegor', 'Fran', 'Lussuria', 'Levi' & 'Mammon'** _liked this comment._

**Umi** – Oh my fucking god, Mammon liked my comment. He understands humor.

'**Belphegor', 'Fran' & 'Lussuria'** _liked this comment._

**Mammon** – Don't get used to it

**Umi** – I won't but for just this one moment, I'm going to fucking celebrate this achievement.

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...

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'**Umi'** _updated her status._

**Umi** – I love Bel with all my heart and I wish he would grace me with the honor of being one of his many lovers! I LOVE YOU BEL! YOU'RE SO SEXY AND DREAMY!

'**Lussuria'** _liked this status._

**Mammon** – How amusingly disturbing. You sound like one of those crazed fan girls, Umi.

**Lussuria** – Aw~! How cute! I knew you liked him, Umi-chan~!

**Fran** – Ah, I knew one of these days that the peer pressure from our fans at our Q&A column would break your mind, Umi-sempai

'**Lussuria'** _liked this comment._

**Umi** – BEL! QUIT HACKING INTO MY GODDAMN ACCOUNT!

**Belphegor** – What are you talking about, commoner? Don't blame me for your public announcement of your feelings for me. Ushishishi~!

**Umi** – You know that cocky attitude and oversized ego of yours Bel? DICK. REPELLANT. I hope a shark chews off your dick.

**Squalo** – VOI! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT SHARKS!

**Umi** – Oh calm your two dicks, Squalo.

'**Belphegor', 'Fran' & 'Lussuria'** _liked this comment._

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...

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'**Enma'** _is now friends with_ **'Umi'**.

'**Umi'** _posted on_ **'Enma'**_s wall._

**Umi** – Enma! Welcome to the wonderfully disturbed social site that is called Facebook! We hope you enjoy your stay here! :D

'**Enma'** _liked this post._

**Enma** – Thanks Umi-chan. Um, can I ask a question?

**Umi** – Of course!

**Enma** – Do you know someone named Belphegor?

**Umi** - …Why?

**Enma** – Well, he wants to add me as a friend…

**Umi** – Decline. Decline him and block him and never speak of this again.

**Enma** – What? Why?

**Umi** – JUST DECLINE HIM. HE'S ANNOYING AND WILL MAKE YOUR FACEBOOK LIFE HORRIBLE WITH NON-STOP FARMVILLE REQUESTS.

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[::[ ]::]

[::[ ]::]

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**I know what you're all thinking.**

_"Really? She's starting _another_ fanfic? What is wrong with her!"_

**Well. I do this all the time. My bad. But yeah, this fanfic is just for fun and bases around any games and social networks the KHR characters go on. I'm the kind of person who sticks to only a few websites so it'd be great if you guys can suggest some social networks and games for me to write about. And, uh, explain them to me if you can 'cause chances are, I won't know how it works.**

**Anyway, thoughts so far? Thanks for reading and I hope you guys smiled or laughed throughout this chapter! :)**


	2. Facebook 2

**[Facebook 2]**

* * *

'**Tsuna'** _made a Facebook account._

'**Tsuna'** _is now friends with_ **'Gokudera', 'Yamamoto', 'Umi', 'Ryohei', 'Enma' & 'Kyoko'**

'**Gokudera', 'Yamamoto', 'Ryohei', 'Umi', 'Enma' & 'Kyoko'** _posted on_ **'Tsuna'**_s wall._

**Gokudera** – Tenth! I'm honored that you took the time to add me as a friend!

**Yamamoto** – Ahaha, hey Tsuna! You finally made a Facebook account! Welcome! :D

**Ryohei** – WELCOME TO FACEBOOK! LET'S HAVE AN EXTREME TIME ON THIS WEBSITE!

**Enma** – Hey Tsuna. Welcome to Facebook. :)

**Kyoko** – Tsuna-kun! Welcome to Facebook! Let's have a fun time on here! :D

**Umi** – Yo Tsuna! Welcome to the site where all the lonely people come to post pictures of themselves half-naked, send endless amounts of game requests and to socialize with people they don't know. We hope you enjoy your stay here C:

'**Tsuna'** _updated his status._

**Tsuna** – Um, thanks guys. Umi-san, please don't make me regret joining this site…

'**Gokudera', 'Yamamoto', 'Enma', 'Ryohei', 'Kyoko' & 'Umi'** _liked this status._

**Umi** – I make no promises. But hey! You get free coins in Petville if you accept my request! :D

* * *

...

* * *

'**Tsuna'** _updated his status._

**Tsuna** – Can anyone help me with our math homework? I don't understand any of it! D:

'**Yamamoto', 'Gokudera' & 'Ryohei'** _liked this status._

**Yamamoto** – We can come over to your house and help if you want, Tsuna!

**Gokudera** – I'LL HELP YOU TENTH!

**Ryohei** – I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR WORK, SAWADA!

**Gokudera** – What the hell do you know about math, lawn head? And you're not even in our class!

**Ryohei** – WHAT WAS THAT, OCTOPUS HEAD? I'M GREAT AT MATH TO THE EXTREME!

**Haru** – Hahi! Haru can help Tsuna-san!

**Kyoko** – I can help, Tsuna-kun! :)

**Umi** – So, party at Tsuna's? :D

* * *

...

* * *

'**Xanxus 10****th****'** _is now friends with_ **'Squalo', 'Lussuria', 'Fran', 'Umi', 'Belphegor', 'Mammon' & 'Levi'**

'**Levi'** _sent _**'Xanxus 10****th****'**_ a family request._ **'Xanxus 10****th****'** _accepted._

'**Umi'** _posted on _**'Levi'**_s wall._

**Umi** – Holy fuck, why did Xanxus accept your family request, who would accept your family request, dude, WHY? I mean, no offense, but its XANXUS. Why would he accept YOUR family request?

'**Belphegor', 'Fran', 'Squalo', 'Lussuria' & 'Mammon'** _liked this post._

**Levi** – HA! Maybe it is because I am more valued as a subordinate than you people are!

**Umi** – Dude, no, Mammon is more valued than you. He takes care of our money AND HE'S ONE OF THE SEVEN STRONGEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

'**Mammon', 'Belphegor' & 'Fran'** _liked this comment_.

**Mammon** – Although your comment is accurate, I'd rather you not drag me into this drivel conversation, Umi.

**Belphegor** – Tch, what makes you think you're even more valued than I am, you peasant?

**Squalo** – VOI! FUCK YOU LITTLE SHITS! I DO ALL THE FUCKING WORK AROUND HERE!

**Lussuria** – Ma, you're not all that valued, Levi.

**Fran** – You're a lightning pervert. I doubt boss would value a pervert, especially one that stalks him 24/7.

**Umi** – And besides, did anyone even KNOW Xanxus had a Facebook account?

'**Squalo', 'Lussuria', 'Fran', 'Belphegor' & 'Mammon'** _liked this comment_.

'**Gokudera' & 'Byakuran'** _liked this comment._

**Gokudera** – Better question yet, who the hell allowed you Varia to get a Facebook account?

**Byakuran** – Haha, even anti-social alcoholics like Xanxus need a Facebook, Umi-chan~!

**Levi** – You people are just jealous of my superiority

**Umi** – I OBJECT TO THAT STATEMENT!

**Belphegor** – You fucking peasant. Let's see you type that again once I stab your eyes and rip your tongue out.

**Xanxus** – Who the fuck is using my name for this shit

**Umi** – Ooh! Shit just got real! And that's really sad, Levi.

**15 people** _liked this comment._

**Squalo** – VOOOOIIIIII! YOU FUCKING MADE A FAKE ACCOUNT FOR THAT BASTARD XANXUS?

**Levi** – Of course not! I would never do something like that!

**Lussuria** – Ah, you would, actually.

**Mammon** – Mu, of course you would.

**Umi** – PFT. What a liar!

**Belphegor** – Ushishishi.

**Fran** – Now you're a lying, lightning pervert.

**Squalo** – WELL NO SHIT YOU'D DO SOMETHING THAT FUCKING STUPID!

**Xanxus** – I'm going to shoot your fucking brains out.

'**Umi', 'Squalo', 'Belphegor', 'Fran', 'Lussuria' & 'Mammon'** _liked this comment._

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[::[ ]::]

[::[ ]::]

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**Thank you for the reviews, favs & follows! And for the suggestions! :) **

**You guys can keep sending in suggestions of what other social networks and games I can write about!**

**And finally, this chapter goes to **Madame Kri** for being the first to give me a suggestion! The idea of Levi creating a fake Xanxus account was her idea :D**

* * *

**Replies to 'Guest Reviews'**

**xXnazaraXx** - Um, thank you?

**George** - I'm glad this was funny! And sorry. If you've read the first part of my profile, I did type down that I tend to not finish things because of lack of inspiration, motivation and concentration. I hope to update 'Around The World' at least since that's a fun fanfic for me to do. Bright side, thank you for suggesting a social site for the KHR cast to be on! It'll be the next chapter! Thank you for reading my stories despite my sporadic way of updating! :)

* * *

**Disclaimers**

_**Katekyo Hitman** **Reborn** belongs to _Akira Amano

_**Umi** belongs to_ MissCuriousBird

_**Facebook &** **Petville** belongs to _ Mark Zuckerberg


	3. FanFiction

**[Fanfiction]**

* * *

Never again would Squalo read a fictional story posted on a fan-based website.

_Never_. **Again**.

He's faced a lot of things in his life. He cut off his own left hand in order to win, he's had to put up with Xanxus' bitch-fits and temper tantrums, had to suffer humiliation at having been defeated by a _brat_ who thought the mafia was a game, and he's even had to put up with that damn prince's incessant pranks and Lussuria's constant flirting.

But dear god did 'Fanfiction' take the cake.

"VOI! LUSSURIA YOU BASTARD! THIS IS WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR FUCKING SPARE TIME?"

"Ah, seems like commander found that website 'Fanfiction' and Lussuria's stories." Fran commented tonelessly as he flipped through a book, despite the fact that he wasn't even reading it let alone paying attention to its content.

"About time," Belphegor scoffed from the couch, flipping through the various channels with a bored face, "Everyone else knows about the fag's hobby except him." And then his face split into a wide grin as he sat up, turning his head slightly to face the young illusionist, "I wonder which story the peasant is reading right now. Ushishishi~!"

"You sound like a pervert, Bel-sempai."

Then the door leading to the kitchen flew open as Belphegor impaled some knives into the illusionist's hat and Umi bounded in, her clothes singed and cut and dirtied with various ingredients to which Fran won't even bother snidely commenting on – it was far too easy of a topic – with one of her grins on her face. "Did I just hear that Squalo has _finally_ read one of Lussuria's stories?"

The young assassin nodded his head and Umi started laughing hysterically as Squalo's angry shouts rang out through the mansion again.

"YOU HAVE FUCKING SICK FANTASIES, YOU GAY FAG! VOOOOIIIIII!"

* * *

...

...

* * *

**The Master and his pet**

**By SunnyPeacock**

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**Rated:** Fiction M – **Italian** – **Romance** – **Xanxus & Squalo S.** – **Words: 6,078** – **Reviews**: 3,385 – **Favs:** 2,014 – **Follows**: 1,919 – **Published**: 01-26-13 – **Status**: Complete – **id:** 8078354

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Summary: _Squalo has always kept his word and stuck by his boss' side, devoting nothing but loyalty and attention to him, but what will he do when one particular night full of arguments and tension leads to him and Xanxus stuck in a compromising situation? Will Squalo decide to disobey his boss' order for the first time in his life, or will he fall for his charms and give in to his lust?_

_**[Rated M for explicit sexual content not suitable for a young audience]**_

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**Reviews for 'The Master and his pet'**

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**Pranking Mafioso**: Oh my god, my virgin eyes! DAMMIT LUSSURIA. WHEN YOU SAID 'A FUN TIME', I DIDN'T THINK YOU MEANT THIS KINKY STUFF! Although, props on the usage of wine in their kinky time. I don't think I'll ever look at Xanxus the same way again…

P.S: You've made a lot of fangirl's panties drop. Including Squalo's should he ever read this.

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**Prince the Ripper**: The prince knew the peasant was secretly boss's bitch. The part where he used a bottle on the shark peasant was amusing.

And I dare you to write one of boss and Levi. I'm sure that obsessive peasant would have a worse off nosebleed to it than this one and jack off just by reading it. Ushishishi~!

* * *

**Best Magician**: I wonder what longhaired commander and boss will say about this once they read it. And Bel-sempai, you really are a pervert, aren't you? Why would you suggest something like that? I'm sure no one is a fan of that pairing.

Ah, also, you're secretly a closet perv, aren't you, Bel-sempai? I bet you read these because you can't get laid.

* * *

_(Guest)_ **Loyal Subordinate**: Lussuria you bastard! Writing such things about boss!

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_(Guest)_ **Angry swordsman**: VOI! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, LUSSURIA!

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...

...

* * *

"Twenty bucks says the shark hippie hunts and kills Lussuria!" Umi laughed, remaining where she was standing in the entrance of the kitchen as the angry swordsman's curses and yells continued to echo throughout the mansion, a majority of it being threats to do bodily harm to the flamboyant Sun Guardian.

Belphegor scoffed at her bet. "Thirty bucks says the peasant bitches to boss about it."

Umi rolled her eyes. "As if Xanxus would care for his bitching. Squalo's gonna kill Lussuria, I'm telling ya."

The prince, idly playing with one of his many unique knives – Umi swore he was purposely letting the chandelier's light reflect off of it to highlight it's deadliness – grinned at her. "The peasant always bitches to boss about useless shit like this. You should just hand over your money now before being embarrassed about losing."

She snorted. "Fuck that shit. If anything, _you_ should be paying _me_ right now so that your 'royal' pride doesn't get bruised when you lose."

"Forty bucks says long-haired commander and boss have rough, angry sex tonight."

The two adults stopped in their argument and slowly looked at the youngest Varia in the room who was still staring at the book in his hands. After a moment, Umi looked back at Bel as he did the same.

"Uh. Anyone willing to go on a mission to check if any of our bets is true? Squalo stopped shouting a few minutes ago…"

"Tch, let's just send the frog to spy on them. The prince doesn't want to come across something that'll scar his royal eyes."

"Ah, Bel-sempai, if you're going to chicken out, at least don't dump the mission onto me."

"What was that frog? You want me to skewer you and send your legs to France?"

"We're getting off topic here, dammit!"

"VOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII!"

At the abrupt yell of Squalo's, the trio paused and stared at the doorway leading out to the hall. A moment of silence passed, the three of them noticing that the yell lacked its usual gruff and viciousness and that it sounded farther away than before, more closer to where all their rooms were. And then Umi and Belphegor turned to Fran who stared back at them.

"So. Forty bucks, right, Fran-chan?"

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[::[ ]::]

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**So terribly sorry for the late update, but here it is! Chapter dedicated to guest reviewer '**George**'****, who suggested them having an account on the lovely FanFiction website. I'm sorry I couldn't write the story Lussuria wrote. I don't do romance/sexual content/etc. And besides, Lussuria's skills at fanfiction are unmatched and no one can beat the king of romance stories. I'll leave what Lussuria wrote to your kinky thoughts, my readers. *shot***

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**Replies to 'Guest Reviews'**

**Guest** - Thank you! I'm very happy that you love my stories and especially that I'm writing the characters in character! :)

* * *

**Disclaimers**

_**Katekyo Hitman Reborn **belongs to_ Akira Amano

_**Umi **belongs to_ MissCuriousBird

_**FanFiction **belongs to_ Xing Li


	4. Tumblr

**Tumblr**

* * *

"Ah. Bel-sempai is following me on tumblr." Fran muttered, staring down at the bright icon on his laptop screen. The picture of the golden-haired prince grinned back at him almost mockingly and Fran swore he could feel just the tiniest bit irritated at seeing him. He'd never admit it though – god no – because hell would break loose if the Varia were to catch him with emotions.

Not to mention Belphegor wouldn't shut up about it for _years_.

He clicked his fellow members icon and the screen turned to red and black, the colors of Belphegor's tumblr page. The main things the illusionist saw were photos of half-naked woman, blood, weapons, and some other unmentionable things that he thought weren't even allowed on the website. No doubt Belphegor hacked and bypassed those rules somehow. Fran then turned his attention to the bottom right corner where it listed the people Belphegor was following and instantly recognized a majority of the icons there.

"Oh. That's not good. Umi-sempai won't be very happy about this."

A loud crash echoed from outside in the hallway as if on cue and Fran knew it was Umi who, also, would have found out by now that Belphegor had made a tumblr account and was following her. A few seconds later, an angry roar pierced the air, and the young Varia member – anyone within a hundred mile radius, actually – knew it was Squalo. It seemed like the prince had taken to following all of the Varia members on tumblr. Well, the ones who had bothered to make an account – or had an account made for them by the ever-social Lussuria.

A monotone sigh slipped from the young illusionist's lips as he stared at the grinning icon again.

* * *

...

* * *

Umi promptly spat her drink out, effectively spraying her desk with the remnants of her Coca-Cola. She stared stupidly at her computer screen in silence, gaping like a fish out of water as minutes passed by – though it felt like hours to her – before she finally spoke in a tone full of dread.

"Holy shit, Bel has a fucking tumblr." She said, looking at that infuriating icon of his. "Who the hell let _him_ have a _tumblr_?"

She glanced through the list of people he was following and, in a dramatic action of pure shock upon recognizing a majority of them, she toppled out of her chair, sending both it and herself crashing to the floor where she laid in horror with her hands over her eyes.

"We're all doomed to endless messages of pornography!" she wailed as she rolled on the floor, pretending to sob at the situation. "Ah! I fear for Tuna-pon's and Enma's poor virgin eyes! We're doomed, I say, doomed!"

As if he agreed with her, Squalo's angry yell echoed down the hallway and Umi pretended to sob even harder.

* * *

...

* * *

"VOI! What the fuck is this?"

Levi glanced at the laptop screen. "It's a dick." he replied before being struck in the head with Squalo's foot.

"Well no fucking shit, dumbass! I know a dick when I see one." The rain guardian growled, "Who the fuck would send something as fucking disgusting as this?"

He sneered at the photo as he pointed his sword towards it. He had just come back from a tough mission and all he wanted was at least an hour or two of relaxation. Instead, he comes back to find a male's private part on his laptop screen. Who the fuck wouldn't know what that was? Sometimes Squalo swore there was absolutely no reason to have Levi in their group. His deductions and absolute ridiculousness passed even Lussuria's flamboyant ways. Even if the man _could_ summon lightning like a conductor, he was more infuriating than the rest to even want around, and Squalo hardly ever wanted to be around the others. Speaking of such, the rain guardian can guess who was behind this disgusting photo on his laptop screen.

As if he read Squalo's mind, Lussuria leant over from his seat and looked at the screen and said, "Ma, Bel-chan sent it. He sent two of them to me a few seconds ago."

A figurative vein popped on Squalo's head, his eye twitching violently at the confirmation. Then, he flipped the table and kicked Levi off his chair in a fit of rage.

"THAT LITTLE FUCKING GAY SHIT! VOI! I'LL FUCKING MURDER HIM!"

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...

* * *

Blushing furiously, Tsuna hurriedly tried to close the tumblr page he was on, silently giving screams of frustration every time the computer froze – which was happening far too often for his liking. He really could not _believe_ what the Varia's storm guardian had sent him – goddammit; he was only _fifteen_ years old! Tsuna was _not_ ready to see naked women on his screen! Nor would he ever _be_ ready! – And he's been desperately trying to close it for the past thirty minutes to no avail. With each minute that passes, Tsuna's face grew redder and redder in embarrassment and frustration. Was his computer going on strike against him now?

"What are you looking at, Dame-Tsuna?"

"HIE! REBORN!"

The suited baby kicked Tsuna off of his chair and stood on it, turning his eyes to the screen of the computer as the young mafia don yelled out stuttered protests to him. After a brief minute, Reborn turned to Tsuna.

"I'm sure Iemitsu and Nana will be very amused to know about this." Reborn commented before jumping off the chair, heading to the doorway.

Tsuna scrambled onto his feet and quickly chased after his tutor with his face a bright red color.

"W-Wait! No! Reborn! I-I wasn't looking at – I didn't mean to – Belphegor sent it – HIE! Don't tell my parents this!"

* * *

...

* * *

Adelheid scowled deeply at the laptop screen.

In front of her was Enma kneeling on the carpet with a bright red face, staring down at the floor almost shamefully. Julia sat beside him with a grin, laughing at the situation as Shitt P. sat on the other side of the Shimon boss, throwing in comments that really didn't lift Enma's embarrassment or ease Adelheid's steadily growing anger.

"What," Adelheid said through gritted teeth as she turned the screen towards them, "Is _this_?"

"I believe that's what you call boobs." Julie replied. He adjusted his glasses and peered closer, pretending to thoroughly scan the photo.

"I know that." Adelheid snapped, slamming her hand onto the table. "What I want to know is why you three were looking at these photos in the first place."

"We're teaching Enma to appreciate a woman's body." Shitt P. said before adding in, "And besides, that storm guardian from Varia sent them to Enma. We just opened up the message out of curiosity."

Adelheid turned her glare to Enma, who flinched and lowered the top half of his body so he was closer to the ground, his eyes permanently fixated on the color of the carpet as if it had suddenly become interesting. Before he could think and try and explain himself to his angry guardian – god knew what kind of punishment she would throw at him for this – his phone went off. With an inward sigh of relief, he quickly pulled it out from his pocket and, turning the upper half of his body away from facing Adelheid, answered it.

"H-Hello?" he asked.

"_Ah! Enma!"_

"Umi-chan?"

"_The one and only, desu~!" _

Sighing, and despite the fact he couldn't see it, Enma knew Umi was doing a ridiculous pose accompanied by a peace sign right now. It was just something she did, even if she knew the person couldn't see her.

"_Anyway, I called to ask how are your virgin eyes, my dear friend?"_

Enma's blush deepened, if that was even possible, as he pulled back his hand to stare at his phone incredulously with a stutter. He pulled it back to his ear, ignoring Adelheid's verbal assault now being directed at Julie, who seemed all too interested in the photo still shown on the laptop screen.

"W-What?"

"_I asked how. Are. Your. Virgin – "_

"I know what you asked!" he cut in quickly, shaking his head, "Why would you ask me that? And so bluntly too?"

"_Well, I saw that Bel was following you on tumblr, so I just assumed he's already sent naked pictures of women to you doing questionable stuff with other people."_

"How did you know that? And why are you speaking about this so calmly?" Enma asked.

There was a brief pause on the other line before Umi spoke up again, her voice flat.

"_The Varia is infamous for their endless stash of hardcore pornography and I'm, unfortunately, used to it. Bel forces me to look at them. I'm scarred for life, man. I didn't even think those positions were possible during sex." _

By this point, Enma couldn't tell if Umi was joking anymore or not. Sometimes it was hard to tell with her. But given the person she was speaking about, there was a high possibility she's not. And as sudden as she had spoke in a flat tone, her cheerfulness came back when she spoke again.

"_So, anyway, I'll ask again, how are your virgin eyes? Did you get a nosebleed? Or maybe – Hey! Give that back!"_

Enma heard rustling and distant yelling on the other line of the phone. Confused, he waited for a few minutes before finally hearing an all too familiar laugh and Umi's angry yelling in the background.

"_Ushishishi, did you like the photos I sent you, Shimon brat?"_

Enma's blush disappeared and he paled immediately upon recognising the owner of the voice.

"_The prince is quite sure you've got a boner by now. If not, there's something wrong with you. I'll send you and that Vongola Decimo peasant more photos later that'll make you wank off more than you already have. Shishishi~!"_

"_Oi! Quit corrupting Enma and Tuna-pon's innocent minds! Non sono come pervertito come te, bastardo! (They're not as perverted as you, bastard!)"_

Enma ended the call amidst Belphegor's laughing and Umi's rant and hid his face in his hands, feeling just how hot his face had become again. Of all days for him to finally decide to make a tumblr account, he chose today of all days, only to get stuck in this mess.

Next time, he wasn't going to listen to Julie.

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**Chapter dedicated to '**Kanako Arichi**', who suggested Umi stumbling upon Belphegor's Tumblr, and '**George**',**** who also suggested Tumblr from the previous chapter, with many messages of love and hate from Belphegor and Squalo. I apologize for any OOCness that may have occurred in this chapter, especially from the Shimon family. And I also apologize for any grammatical/sentence errors you may spot, as I just finished this chapter at about one in the morning. **

**From now on, I'm going to try and make the chapters like this, as a story, instead of the earlier two chapter formats I did for Facebook.**

**Well, thank you for reading and, as always, I hope you look forward to my next update! :)**

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**Replies to 'Guest Reviews'**

**George **- Terribly sorry for the lateness, but that's just how I roll, yo'. Seriously though, I'll update when I can. Thank you for more suggestions and I'll get to them when I can. :)

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**Disclaimers**

_**Katekyo Hitman Reborn**_ belongs to Akira Amano

_**Umi**_ belongs to MissCuriousBird

_**Tumblr**_ belongs to David Karp


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